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Showing posts from November, 2015

Outing Gratitude

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October 11 is National Coming Out Day .  I remember when it started in 1988 – it was a powerful positive program to affirm being LGBT in the face of the devastation of the AIDS crisis of the 1980’s. In short order it grew and became a national tradition that the Human Rights Campaign eventually took over and continues to run. I never much needed a day to “come out” as for most of the last quarter-century I’ve been affiliated with one LGBT organization or another making it easy to be out. I always appreciate having a day to celebrate the cause in such a positive way and remind the world of our difference. Today I run a non-profit with “gay” in its name. In the ordinary course of day to day life the result is that I am constantly coming out. (“What do you do for a living?” “I run ….”) I live in one of the more progressive and “accepting” areas of the world and have little issues when having these interactions. When I traveled  internationally recently it became an inter...

Go Away

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I’m just back after two weeks away. A holiday. A vacation. A luxury that has been years in the making and planning. Sure my contract provides for three weeks of time off per year, but as a workaholic I’ve never quite been able to justify take the time, despite the support of the team I work with. In the past 3 years I’ve turned back (“use it or lose it”) over 6 weeks of time. I’m not alone. 500 million vacation days lapse each year according to The Boston Globe . The hectic and stressful preparation for being away is matched by the whirlwind and obligations upon the return. The time in between is worth it, especially if you can ‘check-out.’ I did stay connected every few days as that’d probably be more stressful than not – but I was able to really get into a different way of being for a while. With that perspective it was amazing to come back and see what happened in the world with some fresh eyes. The two weeks at the beginning of November is really a short period of time in th...

Suggesting a tip

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I was a terrible waiter. The summer of my freshman year in high school I took a job as a waiter at a higher end restaurant. I figured if I was going to be a waiter I might as well do it for a place where the total bill was high – and therefore the tips would be high too. How delightfully naïve I was. The ultimate insult came not from being stiffed on the tip – there were plenty of justifications for that (“they forgot” “they didn’t like the food” etc.). It was when they would leave $0.10 or $0.25 or $1.00 on a $150 bill. It was a clear memo: we know we should tip but you were so horrible that you only deserve a few pennies. I think I lasted six weeks and spent most of them bussing tables rather than serving. Today I make it a punchline: I tell people this was when I learned that I preferred to be served rather than to serve! There’s a movement on that would change all that. Danny Meyer’s Restaurants (which runs establishments like Gramercy Tavern and Union Square Cafe in New Y...

Limitation on Decency

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I used to watch “ The Cosby Show ” as part of NBC’s “Must See TV” line-up on Thursday nights. It wasn’t one of those shows I absolutely had to watch, but if I was able to see it then I would watch it. It held the 8pm slot for all eight seasons and was an innocuous look at a upper middle-class family with issues – they just happened to be African American. The show was accessible to everybody, producing ratings and honors that previously hadn’t occurred. It won a bucket load of awards, including the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Series. The show lived on in syndication from 1997. In 2015, the last television syndicators stopped running the show, though it remains available on Hulu. Events of the last few years are unlikely to have ever been part of the show's premise. Bill Cosby, the show’s protagonist and namesake, had been a successful comedian and ad pitch man before taking on the role of Clifford Huxtable. After that, he continued to produce and star in television shows. He...